What'supReaders?

Not all babies are cute, can we at least admit that? Some children are vile and far from innocent, have I lied?  My friends might not be good people,  myself too? You sort of agree with Trump... I shouldn't say that? I cannot tell my boyfriend I hate his sister or his mother, can you?  We should not talk about sex, it's inappropriate  am I right?  Your family is bothersome, can they not be? Honesty is the best policy, is it not?  What are you scared of baby? 

As per rice, before the jollof Wisdom is your grandmother telling you to soak it for an hour, "experience" is your mother telling you to 3 table spoons of oil per cup, innovation is you using butter to fry the soaked rice first.  You're welcome!

Just a metaphor for "you have now fully transformed into the idealised male-oriented beauty standards" , and henceforth you will be subjected to objectification and sexualisation by the society.  Yes; you have truly become a standard product and now you have to go to crazy lengths to maintain this current value before you depreciate. 

If you're a self-sabotager, this piece is for you. There are hundreds of thousands of articles and blog posts on how to be a better boyfriend or girlfriend. Find out if they're cheating, or if your partner is a liar. This is not about saving your relationship, this is how you can kill your relationship without a chance of revival. These are based on years of cumulative experiences, experiments, and accidents. So this is how you snuff the life out of your relationship. Be absolutely self-serving.  Make the entire relationship about you, how can your partner engage in activities are beneficial to you alone not you as a couple? Make sure their existence is about you, how they can go out of their way every time to please you (including the sack). You MUST make sure they are a means to an end. Any chance of learning about each other or growing together, make it about your life, your own experiences, what you like and don't like. Their feelings are after all second to your...

I stopped lying because it was simply boring. There is always this cozying expectation that comes with lies, to protect yourself or someone, out of fear or uncertainty. I have learned to love the look of reckless abandon on people's faces when I tell them the truth , regardless of if I am hurting myself or their expectations. You can almost see their brain trying to reconcile what happened with their expectations of cozy lies, watching people frantically look for the threads of reality to continue the conversation seamlessly, watching them grasp at fear I mean its almost...cruelly poetic. The ability to walk away from lying when it is an option if the greatest form of freedom, true liberty and growth. It is standing in the face of unformed realities and taking a plunge. It can absolutely go wrong, don't misunderstand me...it not necessarily about morals and ethics, but about living like the all those cheesy quotes we read but don't manifest. Lying, so easy but rarely i...

 Nigeria's economy may be in a recession, but the wedding industry begs to differ with the ever-increasing cost of weddings in Nigeria (stupendous if you're in Abuja). The smallest event has you spending a wholesome 500 thousand naira for 100 guests to the more lavish society weddings that can total a whooping 30 Million naira.  It is safe to say if you are in the wedding planning business (make-up, catering, event centres, furnishing, tailoring, photography) , you're a "big man". With the population of Nigeria at around 200 million people and growing ; things are not slowing down, if you can afford it , I'm down for the small chops (spring rolls, samosas , puff puff) . I personally enjoy scrolling through Bellanaijaweddings into the ungodly hours of the night admiring the cheerful brides; but my issues are with the receipts. Here is what I mean: the number of divorcees and single parents is getting alarming. It is estimated that 1 in 5 girls will b...

This man-made God,  the politically-aware one.  With pockets deeper than Rockefeller, hungry for the change in your pocket. ,the 21st century alpha omega he doesn't give his followers a book or ask for prayers,  uses "likes" as a criteria for your piety.  This new god that is so dynamic, ever-changing, politically correct.  he sits on boardrooms and lobbies for peace and blessings;  accustomed to luxury.  flies in jets and gives his love to the highest bidder. forgiveness is auctioned, conscience-free. he, the one whom oppresses women and rapes little boys, pro-bloodshed;  and depending on what he is selling,  hell is conditional, on whether you're buying what he is selling.  safe, as long as you can afford his heaven. This god, the one whom insists you show-off how charitable you are on Facebook, this Instagram god,  the one who sitting with his diary,  writing the names of thos...

What'supReaders?: The minds who fell out of time : To you what is life is to me where death awaits.  Slow is to catch where the fire smoked.  But to burn brighter than the fore...

1. It is okay not to know,  but never let ignorance be your excuse.  2. Don't be scared to ask for help, but never trust those that exchange favours. 3.The right thing is often difficult, but it is always worth it. 4. You are your utmost priority, don't compromise yourself. Keep your shame intact (don't ever put yourself in a precarious position where you would be referred to as "shameless") 5. Have sense of pride, but never let pride overcome common sense. 6. Always learn to look the other way, you'll thank yourself for that someday. 7. Humble yourself, before life humbles you. 8. Be strong, but never let strength become your greatest weakness. 9. Walk with everyone, and no one. 10. Help others, to help yourself. 11. If you're wrong, you're wrong; get over it. Learn.

7 Simple steps to being a better you 1. When someone is telling you their problems, remember it's not a competition ; so please don't try to bombarde them with similar stories about yourself.  2. Always, always give them your full face and body 3. Do I even have to add , please don't cross your hands, you will come across as judgemental.  4. Paraphrase what they told you, thus making sure you actually understand what they are trying to tell you.  5. Sometimes, people just want to be heard; not every story is begging for your advice or input. So unless asked...just f**king hear them out and stop trying to solve everyone's problem. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. 6. If you understand , vocalise it "I understand" 7. Now repeat 1-6. 

What'supReaders?: Your Nose - My Business : My people call it "amebo", for your non-familiarity sake ; lets call it "longer throat". The phenomena whereby your ...

My people call it "amebo", for your non-familiarity sake ; lets call it "longer throat". The phenomena whereby your neck so elongated, it's disconnected from the reality of your body. You can neither see the pit you're falling into nor the foul stench coming from your armpit. But you're the case officer of her life, often even self-anointed counsellor, therapist, judge , jury and verdict; and you're not even scared to play God. With all those judgements you dole out, it's safe to say we know why God 'rested'. In this your play of chameleon, you justify your hypocrisy with false righteousness, but I can not condemn you and become you. 

Funny, it's my dreams that keep me awake at nights. Thoughts of tomorrow, plans and ambitions. I am young enough to be tired. Thoughts of love (which I don't believe in ), of hope (I could really use another spoonful) , sometimes even a husband and bliss . I think my failures (good for the soul) , and hope.  Funny it's my dreams that haunt me every night. so every morning it's SOS, when I wake up tired, Birkins under my eyes, to slide through another day, often without meanings.  Remember it's our dreams that really keeps us awake at night.

The grief that takes your hope is despair, I pray I never treat you like your life can have sums, I pray I never put a pricetag on your happiness, I pray I never walk the path of the world that leads me away from you, I pray my love for you is without conditions, I pray I never leave you at my gate crying, or knock at my door and leave you unanswered, I pray I never side with your enemy, I pray my heart is home enough for you, I pray you never doubt my love for you is true, I pray I never have to say "I'm sorry for hurting you" I pray I never give you despair... I pray I can love you like I was never loved.

Olufisayo. You know better than to complain about family issues or good fortunes to your friends ,even when you moved from your old house to a new house in Ikoyi. your mother had already told you that they wish you nothing but bad luck.  Who are you not to believe her?  When you were 12, you had been kissed by your half-muslim half christian cousin, Salaudeen Deen; to his friends; whom you have also kissed by 14. You sit at the back of the church because of your behaviour, as if it would make God less aware of your sins.  You couldn't wait to be 17 and wear proper buba to weddings which seemed to be every    Saturday with your mother. Mostly because you knew the men , both married and unmarried would be making some deeply inappropriate remarks at you when your mother wasn't watching. And you enjoyed every single one but openly you held your face right ; because shakara is your birthright as  a respectable “good” girl. It somehow reinf...