What'supReaders?

Usually sounds like; 1. I don't know, you decide... 2. I'm not sure. 3. I'm so sorry, i was with my guys.. ill make it up to you 4. Was going to but... 5. So what you wanna do ? Yeah, they all sound familiar probably, bottom line DON'T DATE A MAYBE MAN. Because he will always have another excuse just up his sleeve, that's his go to tactic, soon you're going to be in an "excusationship". there will always be a reason as to why he fell short again. I mean what are you doing at this age (I'm assuming you're in your 20's) with a man who can not make up his mind. chances are if his daily goals are this clouded his long term goals including you and the relationship are unfocused in his mind do. With one or both people being unclouded in the relationship it will soon get boring and a means to an end. 

I am watching "Being Mary Jane". That's beside the point, how are you? Today what I want to get off my chest is the issue of pride. its ruining all the good memories waiting to be made. You're too big to admit the mistake you made, now you're lying in bed at 4am and your demons are eating you away because you didn't want to want to appear weak, anyway that aside.  I have fucked up a lot of my relationships because of one reason or the other, pride and the common enemy; jealousy. But one thing that remains a theme in most failed relationships is inconsistency, I think without a doubt most females are just looking for consistency, something they can rely on or a man they can depend on when it counts. I have had a couple of relationships behind me, and gradually you start to think then even believe that the problem is you when it's really neither of your faults. I'll leave this here, unfinished because I do have coursework waiting on me. Hopefully, i...

Spoke to her today, she sounded bad , real bad ...like the sound of when all hope is lost. Here I am in tears. It's been years but I had no idea it had become this bad. I wish I knew ; but worst of all I wish there was something I could do. I tried to sound strong for her, for the millions of times she did for me. But here I am, in tears. I wish I knew all these years how her troubles ran deep. How unhappy she was, but she was so good at hiding it. She would smile always so I wouldn't see how broken she was. Bad things had happened but she never sounded hopeless until today. I feel like taking my own life , so I don't live to see her this sad. This unhappy , but that will be selfish. I couldn't put anymore sadness in her life.

I have done this too many times. I met a guy , he wasn't nice or dead gorgeous , but he was sweet. He waits a lot , for me to get ready, to watch an episode with me, for me to calm down. I fell in love...but despite all the cues; he didn't catch me. He let me fall on the cold hard grounding reality, and now my heart and my body is bruised. I keep trying to comfort myself that it will fade out fast, and asking the FAQ's of any love story gone bad like sour yoghurt; "was it something I did or said?" "Did he see something bad about me" "is this God or karma?". And I did the general stuff, fell into a depressive cycle of binge eating and what not. But here I am again,.picking myself up for the 10000th time because I left myself play ice skate on super thing ice. I wish you needed me like I needed you. But positivity is the watch word for this year, so I am going to stay looking bright and comfort. 

Time is so precious. It's literally the one thing you cannot actually afford to waste, not on anyone or anything. Sometimes the phases in your life move so slowly you're stuck in an emotional purgatory, yes it happens ; but surely you don't it your valuable growing time wallowing in the pain. That is not okay..You have to overcome it and outgrow it.  My recent words to live by have become "if it doesn't pleases me, change it" either by throwing it out or transforming it , be it a negative situation or a positive one. You cannot afford to waste time on bad relationships, uncertainty, or even your past. They are gone. Now just grow. Harder, Better, Stronger, and Faster.

Okay so recently, I got betrayed by someone I thought I knew too well. Pretty disgusting huh? But yeah it happens. The funniest part was I was not even sad or angry, it was like I had been expecting it all along. But anyways , it was an eye opener . I feel the best I have since I probably saw my first period LOL! Anyways...I just noticed that I say that a lot...But it looks like since I finally removed the last chain from this anchor, I grew...No not physically silliest. But in spirit and strength. Can you relate ? When are you going to cut off those that bring you down ?