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The dimensions of patriarchal oppression often you realise has many facets. The pain of oppression is in the consciousness, in being aware that you are oppressed. A clueless fool is a happy fool. This short piece is one of the many chapters of how I document the oppression of women in Northern Nigeria through a combination of personal narratives and interviews. First thing you need to know if you’ve never been to Northern Nigeria is that it’s a deeply gendered society, this often interlays with sex which is governed through religious beliefs. Today I outline a brief encounter that got me thinking about how men negotiate women’s sexuality in subtle indirect ways of policing you. But first of all, I must tell you where this oppression is, my body, as in the female body is the site of oppression. Take this for the context, I was getting dressed up to attend an interview. While the initial outfit I had picked technically had nothing wrong with it from my deciphering of Islamic ...

About time I made the rant about my generations' very immature relationship with money, partly its the fault of this "insta-life" noose we have hung ourselves with. What I would try to put across in this blogpost is how intrinsically related your financial situation and your friendship groups are using some examples from my personal life experiences.  When I turned 18 and started "adulting", it was about the same time some hard realities hit Nigeria's economy. I am very grateful to God that my parents made sure we never lacked and have the best life can offer WITHIN their means. That was not necessarily true for me, when I was in my undergraduate here in London (bear in mind that London is stupendously expensive to live in), I had a nice group of friends from overwhelmingly rich homes. And being within that circle came at a cost, I was being reckless with money, partly because I had never actually had to earn my way all that time. I never stopped ...

Waiting for you to love me like I deserve it,  even though most nights, I fall asleep knowing I never deserved you.  Even for a minute I would give blood and sweat, for you to love me again, like you once did.  Im hurting, but so are you.  I wish I never wasted your love.  But I'll wait a thousand months, for you to love me like you did, Love me once again like I deserve it. 

Teach me to love, but let me live. Leave me to fail, let me fall. even if I don't gain, I'll feel the pain. to earn, the virtue to learn. Even if I fail, let me learn to walk in my own footsteps.  By righteousness to me, let me know the consciousness, of my being.

How I see relationships , is that it is relativity to the world, every new relationship is us, presenting ourselves to the world, to other , a chaotic conundrum of perspective taking.  It is also us consuming the universe, bringing foreign objects into our spheres and looking for safety from without. It is an ugly thing; then we take something so ugly and make it beautiful and shape it with our expectations of the ideals. Sometimes when we get it wrong, we are giving our pound of flesh for free. But then again, that is just my melancholic opinion.  Sacrificing and defying archetypes for unreasonable reasons. In being selfish I learnt how to have a relationship with myself first , other second. But I also felt the pain of being whole, being an end in myself and a trust that starts with me and ends in my principles.   Every new relationship is us, presenting our new selves to the world, debutants to the world of familiar for unreasonable reasons. Eve...

Sometimes we chose the tough path only because we believe that to achieve important things, we have to take the tough path . We feel the need to constantly punish ourselves , why not the easy way out? What is so bad about it? Especially when we are not prepared for the tough path. Why climb mountains when you are not ready to?                                                                         - Dr. Zendaghi (Played by Shah rukh khan)  

Not all babies are cute, can we at least admit that? Some children are vile and far from innocent, have I lied?  My friends might not be good people,  myself too? You sort of agree with Trump... I shouldn't say that? I cannot tell my boyfriend I hate his sister or his mother, can you?  We should not talk about sex, it's inappropriate  am I right?  Your family is bothersome, can they not be? Honesty is the best policy, is it not?  What are you scared of baby?