About time I made the rant about my generations' very immature relationship with money, partly its the fault of this "insta-life" noose we have hung ourselves with. What I would try to put across in this blogpost is how intrinsically related your financial situation and your friendship groups are using some examples from my personal life experiences.
When I turned 18 and started "adulting", it was about the same time some hard realities hit Nigeria's economy. I am very grateful to God that my parents made sure we never lacked and have the best life can offer WITHIN their means. That was not necessarily true for me, when I was in my undergraduate here in London (bear in mind that London is stupendously expensive to live in), I had a nice group of friends from overwhelmingly rich homes. And being within that circle came at a cost, I was being reckless with money, partly because I had never actually had to earn my way all that time. I never stopped to think that my very non-politician parents were just handing me over their hard earned money to my over privileged arse. Although I am very sorry to disappoint you, there was no heartbreaking epiphany that changed my life around, I just wanted things to be different. I wanted my financial independence , to stop being dependent on my parents. But how could I do that?
First, I started to consciously note what drained most of my wallet. Unsurprisingly, it was my friendships. Each "meet-up" I realised would cost me nearly a 100 pounds or over, in a month that was WAY too much for me (and frankly some of them too if they would be honest). I can not come and kill myself oo (*instert Odunlade meme*).Your friendships are too expensive for me. On the downside I would be devastatingly lonely without these socials, or so I thought. Relax, you'll make new friends (unless you're a prick in which case you need a beating). So I started to cut back, and give more time to myself, investing in my personal life (eating at home, not being extra with my clothing, chilled on the make-up etc) not my social one. I became unnecessarily frugal and it was the best decision I ever made in adulting. I had so much money left over sometimes that I started a small business selling home made whipped shea butter (and yes I can hook you up) .It was worth it, and I would get my mum a "lil something nice :)" now and again instead of just always asking for money, I started to give back. It was the best decision I ever made and my father was really proud (LOL).
At some point, sooner rather than later, we are all going to have to grow up financially whether you like it or not. And if your type of friendships are keeping you from doing that, let them go. It's testify-ably not worth it. Train yourself, before the kids come and responsibilities settle in and before you wreck yourself. Friends that always lend you money are not helping you (emergencies don't count). Instead, keep a circle of people that teach you and help you live a financially responsible life so you don't end up in distress. Or even worse, that pathetic somebody that is always begging for money. Even if you're from very different SES backgrounds, a friendship based on solidly good principles can coexist. But don't just take my word for it, do your own experiment. And if you seriously can not talk to your friends about this sensitive issue, the more important question is "are you really even friends?".
P.S I am having a nice Ramadan get together with some friends and course mates tonight, instead of a restaurant, we decided to all bring foods or drinks or whatever you can to a friend's flat. No one needs to take out a loan to chill and be happy.
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