I respect the opinions of lots of my close family and friends . But lately I have come to the conclusion that for me to live my life , I cannot let the fears of others hold me hostage. Especially in their own beliefs .
We can be so similar but so different and it's important that you remember that when taking crucial decisions. I have always viewed my relationships , romantic ones, as a personal and private affair . So it's always been so sensitive for me to ask of anyone for any advice unless I'm near rock bottom. The reason why is simple ; projection and sentiments. People most often project themselves (and without much context) into your situation and work from there. The only context they have going is their own similar but not the same experience and subsequently inject their fears and reservations into your decisions through their counsel . Truthfully, you end up feeling uneasy about their conclusion yet so guilty if you do not accept their counsel if you had been the initiator of such counsel.
Secondly, sentiments, I particularly learnt this from close family and this usually comes from a place of good intention but once again out of context. They mean well , they want to protect you and lookout for you but at the cost of seeing all others as the 'outsider' from whom you need protection. They don't share your personal sentiment in that relationship; simple.Sometimes these are even forced upon through unsolicited unwarranted "advice". But not to say that both these things are evil but they're worth caution if seeking third party input about your life decisions.
Besides, what's wrong with living and learning? I always joke that pain and suffering is character building. These are things to be consciously aware of in navigating this adulthood thingy. Learn without fear . Fail on your own terms. It's easier to be accountable to yourself for your own misdoings. You're actually living your life alone...yup very much alone.
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