Well you have to excuse me if I'm not a fan anymore to your little game shows that you put up. I am not calling this roulette love anymore . Chances are you might call today or not. Remember me this week or not. Everything has never once been about me but this has revolved around what is convinient for you. If you're reading this, do not wait to be loved and cared about. Do not be scared, take that bold step but I warn you you might stumble. But at least be bold enough to love yourself first. Life as I have learnt in my short 18 years is too damn (excuse my language) precious to be wasted on people who only want to be there for the opening act not the entire show. People are temporary. I have learnt that. People will use you. I have seen that. But self love is the water in your blood. It will keep you afloat even if you're too drained to recuperate.
We all need space. Just enough to let us grow, but not too much that you feel forgotten and left out. S easy to succumb to the charm. pain holds you back, and every night you're on your knees same prayer, "Make me bigger, my voice heard, a better day tomorrow". Tough night, tomorrow is the same, same fake smiles...but you're honestly trying but the scariest thing is remembering, fragments and pieces of a painful past you were too young to remember or know better. fuck this, another day ill deal with this shit, but when. All I have to make is a single phone call, get it off my chest, tell them that i remember now everything that they did, and you know better, but you're not doing it just for that. its because you need to grow . because maybe, just maybe the pain will stop and you can trust again, maybe even feel beautiful and carefree like you once did...damn! thats a long shot , but its worth trying right? but i never do, so every day i dont, a small piece of ...
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