What'supReaders?

Well you have to excuse me if I'm not a fan anymore to your little game shows that you put up. I am not calling this roulette love anymore . Chances are you might call today or not. Remember me this week or not. Everything has never once been about me but this has revolved around what is convinient for you. If you're reading this, do not wait to be loved and cared about. Do not be scared, take that bold step but I warn you you might stumble. But at least be bold enough to love yourself first. Life as I have learnt in my short 18 years is too damn (excuse my language) precious to be wasted on people who only want to be there for the opening act not the entire show. People are temporary. I have learnt that. People will use you. I have seen that. But self love is the water in your blood. It will keep you afloat even if you're too drained to recuperate.

To you what is life is to me where death awaits.  Slow is to catch where the fire smoked.  But to burn brighter than the forecast .  A Sun sets slowly and lowly a fiery ball of doom.  Steadily stealthy the night comes. Death awaits.  But we are a people without time.

So recently I had a move, from my old apartment to my new one and believe me. It was TEDIOUS work. It took me about 9 trips to move all of my things to my new place. Bearing in mind that I'm a university student barely 18 years and I had so many possessions and yet my life was empty, dull and generally uneventful. Over the years I had struggled with depression and social anxiety and as a result my favourite thing to cope was going shopping...alone. I enjoyed it. I had always managed to convince myself that I deserved everything I got and looked forward to every weekend to "stimulate the economy" as I had put it. Unfortunately the more things I bought, the less happy I became because you see here is how the cycle goes; I buy things I usually left them on my bed to try on...as my place was tiny when I needed to sleep I'd push them to the floor, and the heap grew and I often forgot stuff that I owned so I just bought more. My place was extremely untidy and I became mor...